Now, before I go there, let me issue a disclaimer. In my own culture, there is plenty to loathe: materialism, individualism, arrogant mentalities, moral relativism, etc etc etc. This isn't me typing an ethnocentric blog about my culture being better than this one; in fact, I may prefer this culture to my own. Please don't disown me for saying that - in the words of Selena Gomez, "the heart wants what it wants." ;)
So what is this cultural norm that I despise so deeply? Lies and Sex. I don't know, maybe I'm blinded by my southern Bible-belt culture and small town up-bringing. But, I don't remember sex being so out-in-the-open. Nor do I remember people being so passive about not being able to trust those closest to them. It's as if these things are dust on the banister instead of shattered glass on the entry floor. And they continue to cut themselves over the blindness that has established itself here.
I do discipleship with teen boys. I love these boys. I love them like sons. I know that God has given me this great love for them so that I can steward these relationships sincerely and obediently. There is great love for them so that I can walk in grace with them where the culture holds them so tightly. When they lie, I can love them anyway. But it hurts. When I see my teenage spiritual sons being inundated by a sexualized culture everywhere they turn, I have grace for them and love them though they fall. And oh does it hurt. We don't like seeing those we love fall into the traps of this world, especially when those we love hold such special places in our hearts. But, God still brings growth. These boys still produce fruit that can only come from the Vine.
Lately, our discussions have been about our heavenly citizenship. We are talking about how our culture should not determine how we act if we are sons of God. If the seed of God dwells within us, we are no longer a part of our birth culture. We are citizens of heaven and should participate in the culture of Christ. The question becomes, not what my culture accepts, but what Christ's word expects.
What does the Bible say about lying? Other than not to, that those who lie are imitating their father, Satan. The sons of the devil, walk in deception. But the sons of God, walk in truth (John 8:44). Scripture also says that a good tree can't bear bad fruit and a bad tree can't bear good fruit. In the same paragraph, under the same sub-heading, we see that the main indicator of our fruit is what we say. "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" (Luke 6:43-45). I talk to our boys about how this verse tells us how to manage what we say. Not with self-control, but with what we choose to fill our hearts with. The things we fill our minds with throughout the day will determine what we say. If I am seeking Christ in his word on a daily basis, meditating on Him, my words will reflect that. My words are determined with what I fill my heart with. Lies are not the product of meditation on God's word.
In other news, the other day, we went as a family to a small "tienda" to buy some chips. We had a few of our boys with us. As I was looking for the things we needed, my kids were looking at a shelf of movies. As I made my way over to them, I was shocked and infuriated to see a completely nude women in an extremely sensual position on the cover of a movie on the shelf that was eye-level to my youngest daughter. I immediately grabbed it, took it to the store clerk and expressed my outrage at the lack of respect for families that come in and lack of responsibility for children that would see such a thing. The clerk, a young man, simply smirked and stared at me as if I were crazy. My boys looked confused. And I was left standing there in my rage that my children had seen something that they should not have. We already have to deal with thongs, pin-ups, and dirty music videos everywhere; I simply didn't want to have to deal with pornography too.
I left the store explaining to the boys that my job as a dad is to protect and raise my kids in a way that pleases God. I told them that scripture says we are to be "wise about what is good and innocent to evil" (Romans 16:19). I helped them understand that the store's actions had indadvertedly taken away some of my ability to teach that to my kids. Luckily, my kids haven't mentioned this since and my prayer is that they will just forget the things they don't understand. I explained to these boys that this behavior isn't right, regardless of it's acceptance in the culture. I talked to them about being men of honor who will respect their wives and consider the world they may be raising daughters in. We talked about objectification of women and how to live as a man with integrity who values purity. We talked about how we are to flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18) and should be "set apart" from our culture in ways that honor God (1 Peter 2:9).The point is this, we are to walk in grace with each other as we grow together in faith and mature in our relationships with God; yet we cannot simply accept the norms of our culture that are contrary to the life God has called us to. This is the prayer I make for the boys we disciple. That they would seek to honor Christ above the limitations of their culture. It is also my prayer for us and for you, that we would walk in the culture of heaven and be a peculiar people for Him who called us out of darkness and into marvelous light.
