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| Seth and Ashley (except Ashley is a pretty woman, not a bald dude..) |
When Ashley and I were engaged, we went to premarital counseling with our pastor. We wanted to make sure were were prepared, emotionally and spiritually for such an important thing. During our sessions, we took a few personality tests to discuss the results. What we found was that Ashley is a pragmatist, while I (Seth) am an idealist. You can see the evidence of these traits with any amount of time around us. From picking a place to eat (Ashley: they take too long, Me: maybe not this time), to ministry with a 'hard to love' person (Ashley: you've invested a lot and to no avail, may be time to focus on a few others with your time, Me: just a little while longer, I think he may be on the verge of getting it.) Our personality types have always been complimentary in our marriage, a way of balancing ideals and grounding each other in Christ. Ashley, in her pragmatism, can sometimes look past the hope of Christ in situations. Not to say that she denies it - her trust in definitely in the Lord. I'm speaking to our outlooks and how they affect our steps. I, in my idealism, can look past the reality of some situations and tarry too long, unwisely stewarding resources and time in hope of change. God has called us to live a life of balance, hoping in Christ while walking soberly and in wisdom.
One of my biggest stressors is time. Time escapes so easily here and there are so many things that come up at the last minute or things weighing over my head. I'm an idealist, but after years of working to live, I get discouraged when I miss opportunities to invest. When I say "working to live," I don't mean our ministry, I'm talking about the work it requires to simply live here. Everything is
complicated, everything takes way more time than expected, everything requires far more steps than thought; and, over time, all these things are like battle wounds to the idealist. I have a tendency to live in hope, while being let down in circumstance after circumstance. I make schedules for discipleship, for investment, etc, only to have to change the plans because the van in broken again, the shower stopped working, the dog chewed up our only good shoes (you can't get good shoes here, unless you spend exorbitant amounts of money), bills takes all day to pay, cable or phone or something isn't working correctly so we have to go get a number and wait in line and spend hours getting it repaired because you can't do anything over the phone or by internet. I spend countless hours solving problems, or jumping through hoops in government offices, or running to the rescue (Sunday night one of my guys was mugged at gun point, on my street, a block from the house, while walking home). From waiting hours at children's services, to spending an average of 2 hours to prepare any given meal; from going all over the place for paperwork for any one of many governmental procedures (visas to license to permits) to finding time to invest in my own family as husband and father - Where is the time?
As an idealist, I have a great deal of hope in situations, but I'm not just an idealist. I am also an empath with the incessant need to help, protect, and care for those around me. That said, idealism paired with empathy tend to bring a lot of self-placed responsibility on my shouldered. I tend to HOPE more in MY ability to help others, that I do not TRUST in CHRIST'S ability. Jesus, talking about his disciples, said, "while I was with them, I kept them in your name, which you have given me. I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost..." These words echo the sentiment of the Father. For those who come to Him, and those who are IN CHRIST, new creations, there is the promise of faithfulness. Paul, to the Thessalonians (5:23-24), said, "Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it." When we come to Christ, we are "kept" by Christ, holding to the promise that HE "is FAITHFUL, HE will SURELY DO IT." My hope should not be in my ability, but in HIS FAITHFULNESS.
So, when time is weighing down on me and I am overwhelmed by all the to-do's on my plate, I will trust in my Faithful God. I will trust him with these boys. I will trust him with these families. I will trust him in every area of my lack. I will trust his grace to cover my failings. I will still do my best in every role I'm handed. But my trust will rest in the One who is able (Jude 1:24). I will also patiently wait for more laborers. "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few." I never understood this as well as I do now, living and laboring in Bolivia. The fields are white with harvest. Pray with me for more laborers to join us in this field, so that more souls may be harvested for the kingdom. God is faithful, he will have his church. But what glorious opportunity to be used by Him for such a glorious and eternal purpose. Go harvest some today with the good news of the gospel while trusting in his faithfulness, his strength, and his power. Make the best use of your time, no matter how little it seems you have. God bless!
